Yesterday I hosted my first webinar. It’s something I have been wanting to do for years, but kept giving myself excuses for why the timing wasn’t right.  In actuality, I was disguising my insecurity by claiming I was too busy.  Ever do this?

Why do we continually try to dupe ourselves?  It’s not like I couldn’t figure it out.  I mean, I just did.

Why is it when we have this goal or desire to create or do something, we say: “But I don’t have time”?

Often times, I think we’re not sure we can do it. Or we’re terrified of the potential response (or lack thereof).

My particular hesitation with the webinar wasn’t even a conscious hesitation.  I would start to plan out the content, and then someone would say something like “I poop tooted” or “the toilet is flooding” or “the dog has poop on his butt” and I would think to myself: see – you don’t have time to do more. What are you thinking? Go wipe that butt!

But what was hiding under those thoughts were: What if no-one shows? Who do you think you are to do a webinar anyway? Stick with the blog. No one is going to sign up!

If you’re considering doing something like this, or jumping into some new area, I have a challenge for you (and I’m accepting the challenge as well).  You need to take the leap.

Maybe it’s writing a book, or applying for that job you’ve been wanting, or starting an Instagram account where you eat a different type of carrot everyday and talk about the subtle differences. I don’t know – whatever it is that is this “thing” you’d like to do, but just can’t bring yourself around to doing it: it’s not because you’re too busy. It’s because you’re scared.

I’m still scared. I mean, I’m an Enneagram 6.  So, if you know anything about the Enneagram, let’s be serious – I’ll probably be at least a little bit scared until the day I die.  But creating, getting myself out of my comfort zone a bit, so that I can speak to the rest of you who are also scared: that gets my blood flowing again. It makes me fearless.

At one point, during the webinar yesterday, I was able to look into the screen at the silent/invisible viewer (ok there actually were more than one, but I tried to just imagine one person) and tell them everything I wished I had known when I finally started living well and walking the path to healing.

Everything about having a chronic illness seems final. A doctor tells you this is forever. Your body tells you this is terrible and painful. Your mind tells you nothing is as good as it was before and it may never be again.

I love being able to jump in as the big myth buster on all of it. Forever? Nope – busted. Life is over? SO BUSTED.

Disease is this big ugly monster, and I stood in its shadow for too long. Being able to shine a little light around it, and reduce the shadow it casts on all of you makes me feel like the biggest badass.

It’s like the time in second grade, when I kicked the bully in the balls after he punched me in the stomach. It felt. So. Good. (not the actual contact of my foot to his, well… anyway – I’m talking about emotions, K?)

My point? What is the thing you want to do? Write it down. Underneath, write down all the reasons you are telling yourself you can’t do it. Then cross all those out and write: Actually, I’m just scared. Then stop berating yourself, and come up with a deadline.

I may have checked one thing off of my “I would LOVE to do list”, but I am currently writing a book which I am continually giving myself excuses for not completing (webinar is the newest one). And there are a couple other projects I just keep telling myself I don’t have time for. Truthfully though – I could skip a couple hours of Netflix and just DO them, but I’m scared.

I’m not sure I’m the right person, or worse yet, what if I try so hard and then I find out they were crap?

But, there’s no guarantee what we will put out into this world will be accepted well, but I firmly believe if there is one person who reads this, or attended my webinar, or one day reads my book and feels just an ounce better, then I have done my part to make life just a tiny bit better for someone and it was all worth it.

So, do your thing friend! You were created with purpose and a unique flavor. Share it. Spice things up! Let’s be brave together and hopefully we’ll impact some lives in the process.