Author: Callie

Discouragement

 Do you ever have something inside that wants to be heard, but you can’t quite pinpoint exactly what it is that it wants to say?  I have written an entire manuscript on my tumultuous affair with chronic disease and yet writing a single blog post sometimes overwhelms me to the point of it not happening. As I thought this all through, typing and deleting sentences, I suddenly knew what my topic would be: discouragement. Because, that’s what I was. Discouragement is defined by my trusty friends at Google as “a loss of confidence or enthusiasm: dispiritedness”.  If you have...

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How Disease Makes Us Weird and Beautiful

Tallulah is our four-year-old and if any of my children are going to use their hands to create, it will be her. I still draw stick figures, so, when she draws an eye with a pupil, iris, outer lid and eyelashes, I choke on my soup.  It’s amazing! This tiny little person draws such beautiful and intricate works of art, and it brings out an anticipation for her future in me, like a kid waiting for popcorn on movie night. What upsets me is when she believes the lies of doubt; when she, at four, already gives into thinking...

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Why You Should Avoid Suicide and Read this Blog Post

I am going to tell you why you should avoid the suicide, something none of your friends know you have thought about, but first I must completely humble myself today and share what I found in the disgustingness of my sink.   I’m not sure if any of the rest of you have an issue with this, but whoever owned our house prior (yes, I will blame them for the current grossness) did not properly caulk the sink.  This means that sometimes, stuff builds up.  Gross, black, crumbly stuff.   Because my counter is made to look like pretty...

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Winter is Always Coming

Much to my children’s chagrin, we have been taking countless walks lately. Yesterday, we stepped outside our garage and were greeted by a host of tulips finally opening their orange, yellow, and red blooms.  They all opened in one day. The day before everything was closed and colorless and the rains pelted down.  It ruined evenings, drenching the ground, and many unprepared bodies. Then, just as we were cursing the weather for taking such a tumultuous turn, spring took center stage and we realized that the old adage sometimes holds true: April showers bring May flowers. The last couple...

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Finding Beauty in Grief

I can’t write about anything else until I write about something that I don’t think is mine to write about.  It is someone else’s story, many others’ stories, actually, and yet it has found an uncomfortable home inside of my thoughts and it will reside there, clogging up every other feeling until I let it go into the world of letters, which will possibly make it into words, which hopefully will string into a sentence, which will maybe make some sort of semblance of explanation. I imagine death as a line between here and there.  “There” may be something to some, and to others it is nothing. ...

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