I Have done The Impossible
I have never attempted a feat so difficult as putting together the post you are reading right now. If you haven’t read last week’s post, on The Healing Power of Creativity, please go back and give it a go.
To compile a top ten list is not a task I take lightly. To go even further and say, “top ten of ALL time”: you’re just asking for me to take a year to write this.
However, because I am trying to keep myself to a deadline these days, and because I know you will all have some grace for me if I ever decide I need to change my mind and swap something out in the future, I have decided to go ahead with the impossible.
Music Heals, Bro
Before I drop the list, I wanted to give you a little reminder on why I am writing about music on a blog where I typically talk about chronic illness.
Here’s the thing: I’ve been suspicious for a very long time about the correlation between my bladder healing and the parallel events of diving back into music, writing, and reading.
I have already done a substantial amount of research on the mind body connection, and as a school psychologist, I know how powerful our thoughts can be. It’s why I became a psychologist in the first place: I wanted to learn more about why people did the things they did.
It fascinated me, so I became a psychologist to satiate a curiosity, but also to be able to use what I learned to help those who needed it.
So, in a sense, this is why I am here today. I want to help you understand what you are going through, and how to bring you to a better place.
Enter: music. And research…
DON’T BELIEVE ME? ASK THE DISHES…I MEAN, RESEARCH
I would not be a good psychologist, however, if I did not back up my claims with research. Solid research. Not the Facebook story where someone’s aunt grows a third boob because she recited “The Raven” three times as she spun in a circle and took two steps backward.
I mentioned the article last week, which has lead me to a multitude of other articles, written by Heather L. Stuckey, DUd and Jeremy Nobel, MD, MPH.1 In it, they explore how engagement in creative arts is related to positive health outcomes.
The entire article is worth reading, and you can find it here, but, spoiler alert: they found, through an intensive review of the literature, that creative acts, such as music engagement, expressive writing, movement-based creative expression (i.e. dancing), and visual arts have significant positive effects on health.
As someone with a chronic illness which has resolved to only a minor nuisance, I feel this is big news and something everyone, not just those who are sick, need to know.
Also, it’s fun. I love talking about creativity, and immersing myself in the music of my past over this last week has been thrilling. It has lead to Lisa Loeb sing-alongs with my three-year-old and discussions with friends about a song which helped me through suicidal thoughts more than once.
We’ll talk more research next week, but what I want you to know for now is, Stucky and Nobel (2010), found multiple studies which indicate music therapy lowers anxiety, depression, cortisol levels (stress), heart rate, respiratory rate, myocardial oxygen demand, psychological and physical symptoms, and pain. In addition, it increases immunity, sense of control, feelings of wellness, and improves mood.
If you don’t already have Spotify blasting, it’s time, my friend. Let’s do this music shhh..tuff.
And now, I give you, Callie’s Top Ten Favorite Songs of All Time.
God strike me down if I have not given this momentous task the diligent attention it requires.
We’re doing this Letterman style, so we’re counting backward from ten, to the number one song of all time. Order is somewhat important, but there are a few which could have been mixed around to have equal ordinal value. I have linked titles to Youtube videos, so be sure to click and listen! Ok, let’s do this:
Fade Into You,
by Mazzy Star.
Friends, I’d like to take you back to a room lit by blacklight, a cloudy wall, painted by yours truly, lava lamps, incense, and piles upon piles of journals filled with every angsty idea which pours out of a teenager in love with the idea of being in love.
If you listen closely, you’ll hear Mazzy Star playing this song, and if you look closely, you’ll see me, laying on my back, eyes closed, imagining the person I’d fade into one day. It’s only three chords, but its simplicity is what makes me love it, and Hope Sandoval’s voice is so sultry sweet.
Jolene
by Dolly Parton.
I have to admit, previous to my 30’s, I only knew Dolly as the booby blonde from the South. Then, I heard her on NPR one night and her story is incredible and inspiring. Dolly, I’m so sorry it took me so long to see past your beautiful body. “Your beauty is beyond compare”, but so is your music.
And this song. Ohh. My. GOSH. The guitar picking in the intro, her vibrating voice, and the rhythm: It’s too much. Too good.
Wild Horses
written by The Rolling Stones performed by The Sundays.
As I put together this list, I realized how many of these songs are covers. Just goes to show that we can’t be selfish with our art.
It can keep evolving and blooming into something equally as beautiful, even if someone else is doing it. No offense to the Stones, but as a hopeless girl band fan, I prefer this version. If you dig the Sundays, start with Static and Silence. It’s my fave.
Burn
by Jeremy Enigk.
If you know Jeremy, you probably know him as the frontman of the band, Sunny Day Real Estate. Either way, you have to check out his solo work.
My husband and I went to a show recently and we both agreed it was a pure spiritual experience. His voice is chilling and powerful and enchanting and the music builds and flows and drops and comes back to wrap you in its intensity. They didn’t play this song, but one day I’ll hear it live.
Hide and Seek
by Imogen Heap.
Have you ever had a “sit in the driveway” kind of moment? When you heard something on the radio and you had to hear the end of it, so you sat there, with your chin dropped, butt glued, in awe of what you’re hearing? Yeah, same.
I was driving home from DeKalb and this song was on. I couldn’t figure out the gender of the singer – I couldn’t figure out if I was hearing strings or if it was autotuning, but it grabbed on and I immediately bought this album. The whole thing is good. Check it out if you want a fun treat.
Bohemian Rhapsody
by Queen.
I couldn’t do a top ten list and not include this song.
There is no other song I know that within seconds of hearing it, everyone has grabbed their air mic and is singing along. I don’t think we could resist if we tried. The power of Freddie Mercury compels us. Gallileo Figaro – magnifico
Fake Plastic Trees
by Radiohead.
I heard this for the first time riding in the back of my would be sister-in-law’s car as we drove down to Kentucky.
I was with a bunch of big kids who had heard it a million times, and I was trying not to embarrass myself with a giant show of emotion, but it happened. I just looked out the window and hoped they didn’t notice. The older I get, as a woman, and a woman with chronic illness in particular, this song holds particular poignance.
Hurt
written by Trent ReZnor
performed by Johnny Cash.
I knew Johnny would be on here somewhere, but when I came up with the list, I judged my favorite songs in relation to how much they wrecked me.
This one wrecked me. I still cry every time I hear it.
When we were in Nashville a year ago, we visited the Johnny Cash museum. After going through all of the stuff, we came to a video of him singing this song. I’d heard it before, but not like this.
This part, after going through someone’s actual empire of dirt had me washing the museum floors with my tears:
“What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.”
The build up on the strings and the pain, the longing in his voice: I know he didn’t write it, but he felt it and performed it as if he did. This is one of the hundreds (thousands?) of songs Johnny Cash performed and many more he wrote. His music and his message still resonate with me to this day.
Hallelujah
written by Leonard Cohen
performed by Jeff Buckley.
I hesitate to not make this number one. His voice is so full of emotion, imperfection, and raw talent, and every line of this is haunting. If I had to pick one, though:
“And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch,
And love is not a victory march,
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah”
And when his voice cracks and he trails off into vibrato – I just can’t. Jeff, why did you have to go for that swim? I could have used twenty more decades of your voice.
Poughkeepsie
by Over the Rhine.
This song, this band for that matter, has carried me through every kind of heartache. Their albums have always coincided with various life changes, and this one keeps coming back to save me.
Worth Mentioning
Some serious runners up, which I will not write a word about, but are definitely worth a Google if you have never heard them:
Do You Realize (The Flaming Lips), In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (Neutral Milk Hotel), Leaving on a Jet Plane (John Denver) (just noticing a pattern with planes – weird), Communication (The Cardigans), Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana), Paint it Black (the Rolling Stones), Wrapped in Piano Strings (Radical Face), Video Games (Lana Del Rey), Eleanor Rigby, (the Beatles) (I’ve heard this is a weird favorite Beatles song, but I love it), 20 more songs from Over the Rhine, throw in some Nancy Sinatra, and the list still wouldn’t be even close to complete.
Lessons Learned
I’ve learned a few valuable lessons from this exercise. Music, by its very nature, is never static and its impact on us is never predictable: sometimes bringing us back to who we were twenty years ago and sometimes changing with us along the way.
It isn’t fair to find a handful of songs and call them the best, because tomorrow something else will create the stomach knot that ends in dancing and tears.
Whether you have a chronic illness or not, if you’re looking for some healing, get a stack of records (or go to iTunes – whatever), put on the headphones and breathe. You may not go into spontaneous remission, but in those five, ten, or fifteen minutes, you can escape and I think that is definitely worth something.
You didn’t think you would get out of this unscathed, did you? I want to know YOUR top ten! Or if that’s too hard, just tell me a few. This was probably the most fun I’ve ever had writing an article, so thanks for reading it and giving me a reason to write it. Now have some fun of your own, and share below!
Oh, and if you’d like to keep hearing from me, be sure to subscribe! Thanks, friend! Now, go be well!
1 Stuckey, H. L., & Nobel, J. (2010). The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health: A Review of Current Literature. American Journal of Public Health, 100(2), 254-263. doi:10.2105/ajph.2008.156497