Gratitude Has Been Trying to Get my Attention
Do you ever hear the same message enough times, from enough varying sources, that you know it is not just a hint from the universe, but, rather, the universe, or God, or whatever, you want to call it, screaming at you to pay attention?
Yeah, this has been happening to me for the past couple weeks, and listening has offered some insight I’d like to share with you today.
The topic of gratitude gets thrown around like a roll on Thanksgiving. Everyone looks at it, wants it, puts it on their plate, and then forgets to eat it. It’s all buttered and ready to fall apart in your mouth, but the turkey, and the green beans, and the mashed potatoes took up too much room and the roll is your sacrifice to the garbage gods.
I know I need to be grateful, and I am, but practicing gratefulness is more than just grabbing the roll and thinking about eating it. It’s devouring it, in every moment, and in purposeful, slow bites.
In the past week and a half, I have been taking time, before or after I meditate, to let feelings of gratitude permeate. I’ve been writing it out, and also trying to be mindful of the beauty around me in every moment.
This can be a hard thing to do, especially if things don’t feel so great. It’s easy to be grateful when nothing is bringing you down. It’s in the rough stuff, though friends, where gratefulness is the most necessary.
Gratitude Practice And Mental Health
Because I am a research nerd, I am stupid excited to share with you a study done by two professors: Dr. Joel Wong and Dr. Joshua Brown, at Indiana University.1
They wanted to know if gratefulness practice could actually improve mental health, so they surveyed a group of 300 college students who were signed up for counseling at the university, most of them being seen for things like anxiety and depression. All of them included in the study reported low level levels of mental health when surveyed.
The students were divided into three groups. The first was assigned to the gratitude writing condition, in which they were instructed to to write one letter of gratitude to someone for three weeks. The second group was told to write about their negative experiences, and the third group was told nothing (they would just go on as normal).
If you predicted the gratitude writing group would have improved mental health after the intervention, then you would be correct, but their mental health self ratings remained high even twelve weeks after the intervention stopped.
Researchers found that the negative writing group and the control group (the ones who did nothing differently) reported significantly lower levels of mental health than the gratitude writers.
Dr.’s Wong and Brown also analyzed the types of words used by both of the writing groups. It wasn’t the use of positive words which discriminated those with greater levels of mental health from those with lower levels after intervention. It was the absence of negative words which made the difference.
Additionally, the letters they wrote did not have to be sent, and most of the participants did not send them. So it’s not sending gratitude to others that creates the this improvement in mental health and well being, it’s simply engaging in gratefulness in a purposeful way.
And ok, this is where I really geek out. Dr.’s Wong and Brown followed up with their participants months later (12 weeks) and did a fMRI (functional MRI – it’s when they look at what is happening in the brain as certain stimuli are presented).
They had them each participate (all three groups) in a “pay it forward” exercise in which they were presented with money and told they could donate it to charity or keep it. They were then asked if they donated out of a genuine desire to do so, or because they felt guilty. They were also surveyed to see how grateful they felt in their lives in general.
Those who had been in the gratefulness writing group “showed greater activation in medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude in the fMRI scanner” than those who had not been in the group. This means, even twelve weeks after the gratefulness writing ended, gratitude had a long lasting impact on the brain. It changed it.
What does all of this mean for us? I mean, I think it should be pretty obvious.
It’s easy to get caught up in how smelly our stink is.
For those of you with chronic illness, it’s sometimes impossible to forget it, because pain is constantly reminding you. BUT, what if a simple act of writing a letter to someone you are grateful for, one time a week could alter the functioning of your brain and make you a more happy and well adjusted person?
If this is true, which it appears to be (from this study and countless others I am leaving out today), don’t you think this gratefulness thing may have something to it?
I know it’s been a buzzword lately, and some of us hesitate to jump into something just because the hipster down the hall has been raving all about it, but don’t you think the results from just this one study are compelling enough to give it a shot?
Our brains rewire themselves when we remove negative words, when we focus on the things which are good and right, and when we are truly grateful for the good we can find.
I know it’s easier for some to be grateful than others. I know some of you are fighting some pretty big obstacles and me telling you you should try this gratefulness thing on is insulting.
But, listen. I like you, and just like your mom, when she told you to eat your vegetables, put on a jacket, or not date the guy with the lip ring, I just want what’s best for you.
I’m only telling you this, because I know it will help.
If you are stuck in the midst of a huge obstacle, you are the optimal participant.
If you’re not, and life is just fine and dandy, I encourage you to get this right before things go wrong and you are wishing for when things were better.
If there is a thread of gratefulness we can weave into our lives, in the good times and the bad, I think we will be walking around with a backbone of purpose and strength instead of flopping around, vulnerable to the whims of whatever life throws at us.
NOW WHAT?
So what do I recommend?
Obviously writing a letter of gratefulness was helpful in the study, but I don’t think this particular act is necessary, unless it gets you excited. If it does, then, by all means, do it.
What the study shows us is that there are a couple of key factors to eliciting stronger mental health, and they include:
Absence of negative words and focus on a positive part or person in your life on a consistent basis
You could write to someone, or write a gratefulness journal, speak it, meditate it, or spell it out with your alphabet soup. The point isn’t really how, but rather forcing your brain to think differently, removing the negative rumination.
AND
Be consistent
Additionally, they found that mental health did not improve immediately after starting the gratefulness practice. So, this is something you cannot try one day and if you do not notice immediate effects, give up. You must give it a good honest effort. Based, on the findings, I’d say try it for at least a month.
So yeah. Easy Peasy. Focus on being grateful for at least one thing in your life on a regular and consistent basis, and see where it takes you. I dare you. I dare myself. I dare your doctor, your mother, my dog, my cats, and your boyfriend with the nose ring. I dare everyone.
You can start the practice by sharing with me below five things you are grateful for, right now. Come on, friend, let’s do this. Because, if you’re reading this, I know at least two things you have to be grateful for: eyesight and the ability to read. There, now you just have three more. Your turn. And go….
References:
Wong, J., Ph.D., & Brown, J., Ph.D. (2017, June 06). How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain. Retrieved October 03, 2018, from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain