Heal. To Heal is “(of a person or treatment) cause (a wound, injury, or person) to become sound or healthy again.”1
Healthy. the state of being free from illness or injury.
I was healthy. Then I wasn’t. Then all I wanted was to heal. Then healing didn’t happen. Then I surrendered. Then I healed, but my body didn’t. And then, it did, and yet, here I am, working on healing again.
But, here’s the thing:
If we ever get to a point where we believe we are completely healed, I think this is when God or the universe, whichever you prefer, allows our skirts to fly up around our waist, as we expose our worn elastic spanks and dimpling thighs to unsuspecting sidewalk spectators.
Basically, I think we all need to be open to the fact that even though we’ve come to an oasis, there are still parts of us which need healing, growth, and fine tuning.
Otherwise, we’re robbing ourselves of the joy of the journey, and the oasis we think we’re walking up upon, is simply a mirage we’ve imagined in the distance and we’re more lost than the person who admits they are still wandering the desert.
Now, I’m going to start talking about Jesus and some of you are doing praise hands, while others are about to bounce away from the page.
What I’m about to talk about is bound only to the religion of hope and love. It turns out, Jesus was full of these things. It’s the reason I have never found it in my power to walk away from all I learned, even though I found hate in so many who taught “love”.
I’m speaking to those of you who need stillness. I’m speaking to those of you who need relief.
So if you feel like bouncing, just hang in there with me for a little bit longer.
If you know anything about Jesus, you probably know you he performed miracles. Many of them were healings. He couldn’t get away from healings. It’s kind of like it was his autograph. He couldn’t even go to the store (aka well) without someone asking for one.
I’ve found it considerably difficult to find a number on all of the healings Jesus performed in the Bible. But there were a LOT. Just trust me on this one.
Almost just as often as you will read the word “Jesus healed” in the New Testament, you will also read about heaven’s kingdom realm. Some translations call it the “Kingdom of Heaven”.
As a kid, I used to have to memorize verses, and it’s funny, up until now, I just sort of assumed this was language describing the castle in the sky.
Like, God is up there with his scepter and Chris Farley is the court jester. Angels are singing in white robes, and Jesus is in a corner somewhere petting lambs.
However, I think there’s more to it, and it’s present with us – an oasis within reach.
In Matthew, there are titles before sections of text. They say things like “Jesus Heals…a leper, Jesus heals… the son of an officer…etc, etc, etc, and then: “Jesus Heals… Everyone in Capernaum”. Remember, Jesus gave out healings like hot cakes. EVERYONE in Capernaum? Really?? That’s a handful.
It’s hard to know for certain what happened right before what I am going to talk about, but some believe Jesus had just preached to a crowd so large, he had to sit in a boat in the sea for all to be able to see and hear him.
Regardless, he had done a whole lot of healing for a whole lot of people. He had been proving his power over the physical realm over and over and over again, and his disciples had been there watching all of it.
I would have to think they were freaking out a bit. If I saw this happen, I would have most certainly had a nervous breakdown or at least peed myself a little. My brain (and bladder) can only take so much.
Then, they got into a boat, crossed over to the other side of the sea and it says in Matthew, “And Jesus, exhausted, fell asleep”.
After a day momming it with three young children, I totally get this. And I am not healing people all day long, unless you count Neosporin and band-aids.
The author then tells us a violent storm developed. Some interpretations believe it was a tsunami sized wave.
Jesus was still sleeping in the stern of the boat.
“The disciples woke him up saying,
‘Save us Lord. We’re going to die,’
but Jesus reprimanded them,
‘Why are you gripped with fear? Where is your faith?’
Then he stood up and rebuked the storm and said, ‘Be Still’ and
instantly it became perfectly calm’’
I am really good at assuming guilt. Many churches and conservative Christian environments are good at granting it. You want “reprimands”? They got ’em. This meant when I read verses like the one above, or when these verses were taught, I again assumed the guilt.
Because, let’s be honest, at least ten times a DAY, I think to myself “I’m going to die”, just like the disciples in the boat, who actually had a giant wave about to kill them. So, yeah, the whole faith thing – it’s a tough one for me. Something I’m working on, but something I also think we need to have a bit more grace for.
I learned it like this: Jesus was saying the disciples lacked faith. Therefore, any of you who fear or are worried or are stressed out: you lack faith. You suck. You will be dining in hell tonight. Enjoy the goat meat.
I just saw a tweet from a pretty well known Christian speaker which read: either worry yourself sick, or trust your God well. Is it that simple? Maybe. But I think it’s much more complicated and takes a much more work than people who don’t struggle with anxiety can understand.
For those of us with chronic pain, the idea of faith or trust or just believing everything will be ok, because God or the universe will work it all out for good can be an awfully hard pill to swallow (I mean we’re already swallowing about twenty others). We wanted things to be ok, and they weren’t or maybe they still aren’t.
It’s easy to judge someone for lacking faith when you have never experienced chronic pain. And even as I sit here, and now see that there is some purpose in what I went through, I still have moments when I wonder why I had to lose a year and half of my life to pain.
And the phrase that Christians like to throw around, “have faith”. Can we talk about that for a minute?
I kind of think Christians have started saying “have faith” when someone worries or is in some sort of distress in the exact same way we say “bless you” when someone sneezes.
Sure, maybe as it was originally intended, it meant something beautiful, but now it’s just automatic and no-one knows what it means and it’s just kind of communicates an air of supperiority, like “I am so spiritual and would be handling this better and all you need to do is trust God”.
It makes me want to ask the person who just told me this if their deepest concern right now is where to hang the cross they just bought from the Christian Bookstore. It also makes me kind of angry.
Listen. I know my major weakness is fear, reinforced by a really hard couple of years. I know I have to work on finding a sense of safety outside of my health, and I’ve been peeling back the layers to get there.
I know it isn’t healthy to worry over every symptom and to get to the “healthy”, true me, all the anxiety has to turn into trust in something bigger than me. I know that.
But pretending it’s as simple as clicking your heels together isn’t fair, and I really wish this is something the faith community could be a bit more gracious about.
I’m saying this not just for myself, but for any of us who want to be able to honestly share our pain without someone telling us, “just have faith”.
I’m confident many of you do have faith – in whatever it is you consider to be the larger than you, purpose filled flow. I’m here to tell you that it is ok to be true to what you are feeling right now, right here, as imperfect and scared as you are. Let’s not mask our true feelings in a condescending religious phrase, yes?
Ok, let’s get back to the story. Jesus asks, why are you “gripped with fear”?
He does reprimand them. Because, he’s Jesus, and he has the ultimate authority to reprimand, and honestly, I would rather hear it from Jesus and I often do, but in a way that makes me want to wake up, stand up, and embrace the strength and authority shared with me.
You see, the disciples had sort of the opposite experience than those of us with our bad experiences. They had just seen the reverse of sickness. They had seen healing…a ridiculous amount of healing.
They were even told later they had the power to do this.
They could have calmed the storm themselves, with the access to that whole “heavenly kingdom realm” thing.
But Jesus didn’t just chastise them and let the storm crash the boat into a million tiny pieces. He stood up and said, “Be Still”. And it was still.
So what does this all mean?
I’m not leading you to an alter call, promise, but what I want all of us, myself included, to realize is we have access to a realm beyond ourselves.
Even if you’re not into the Jesus stuff, there is a spiritual layer to us all. Pop in your favorite music, feel your chest start to leap and tell me there isn’t something more – something unexplainable, something bigger.
And then, just when you thought she was done quoting from the Bible, I’m going to throw another one at you, because it’s just too good.
Psalm 107:35-37
“But he also can turn a barren wilderness into an oasis with water!
He can make springs flow into desert lands
and turn them into fertile valleys so that cities spring up
and he gives it all to those who are hungry
They can plant their fields and vineyards there
and reap a bumper crop and gather a fruitful harvest”
I’m not sure about you, but when the diagnosis came and went, and the pain was still there, and my thoughts were constantly with it and I wasn’t sure about the future, I felt like a barren wilderness.
I had nothing to offer anyone else, because I had nothing to offer myself, because nothing was feeding me. I was sure I was a waste of pain filled space.
On top of that, the message I had heard of “you of little faith” rang so true and hard, and crushed me even deeper into the abyss I was in. Why was’t I just happy and positive? Failure! Failure! Failure! Go find your goat meat.
Fast forward a couple years to a girl who started a blog with the name river in the name, because she finally felt something flowing which had been stagnant for quite some time. I finally felt a connection to a God who flowed in the deepest parts of my reason for being and loved me in spite of my fear.
And he said be still, and it was.
Am I the shining oasis in the distance? Nope. We all are.
We all hold an inner oasis, which is divine and connected to something much larger – A heavenly, kingdomly, realm, if you would, and it’s just a matter of tapping into it/him.
Some do this through prayer, meditation, or the other ideas I listed in Parts 1, 2, and 3 of this series, but I think it’s just knowing this that gets us there – knowing we have the capacity to transform from barren to fertile – valleys of nourishment and overflowing crops. This is what helps set us on the right path and helps set us free.
I believe there is forgiveness in not having it all together, and in knowing we all have work to do and fear to conquer.
As I mentioned before, we’re fooling ourselves if we think we won’t need to find our way back from time to time, but I know something holy resides in us if we allow it. If we can see beneath the pain and find a deeper river flowing, friends, I believe this is how we can access the oasis on a continual basis.
If we can’t find it, we can wake the healer, the something bigger than ourselves, on the boat and he’ll see our fear and he’ll calm the storm, and if that doesn’t give us enough reason to believe that all will be well, then I’m not sure what will.
Friend, there is strength in you. There is a river flowing. An oasis with water and ripened fruit. Find it and feel it. Let it spill out and forth and don’t be afraid to know that you are created with a divine breath.
We can search for the oasis, we can find the oasis, and we can then be the oasis to others. We just have to learn to rest, to trust, to love, and to be still.
What do you think? What brings you to an oasis? Tell me below! And if you haven’t subscribed, and enjoyed what you read today, please be sure to scroll down (on your phone) or over (computer) to subscribe! I have a welcome gift I send to everyone who subscribes!
Until next time, friends!
1Heal. (n.d.). Retrieved June 30, 2018, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heal