Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Google Podcasts | RSS
Quick. Look down. Are your lungs inflating? Feel your arm. Do you have skin? Put your hand on your chest. Is your heart beating? If you have answered yes to all three of these questions, then you have passed the “you are, in fact, a human” test, and you will, at some point in your life experience grief.
I have spent a good amount of time of time, as a psychologist, as well as through my experience healing from chronic illness, researching grief. What I have learned from the research, as well as real life – in the thick of it grieving and talking to others grieving as well – is that there are three things we continually lie to ourselves about and lies we believe from our culture.
Today’s episode explores those, and they are:
Lie #1 – We Only Experience Grief When Someone Dies
Nope – we experience grief anytime we lose something we loved or something we expected changes. We have to grieve what WAS in order to accept what IS.
Lie #2 – There is a Right Way to Grieve
The stages of grief are validating and helpful, but they were never intended by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross to restrict or shame anyone into a framework for grieving. I discuss this and how how you can actually use the stages to free yourself and USE them instead of forcing yourself into a prescribed formula.
Lie #3 – Time Heals All Wounds
Damn – I wish that were true and I wish I had a time machine. While your grief will end, at least to a certain extent, the pain of loss does not ever entirely diminish. However, when we reach a place of surrender and acceptance, and I believe, we can even get to the “river of living” amidst the pain and amidst the deep pain of loss, we can find a healing balm to all that hurts. We experience pain and loss becuase we experience and joy. It’s still there, even as we grieve.
I wrote about the 5 Stages of Grief in detail – check out the articles here:
To Book a Coaching Consultation, click here
On Grief and Grieving can be purchased here